How Denisa went diaper free with her babes


The Diaper free method (“DFM”)

The first time I came across the diaper free method, it was by accident on YouTube. After watching some videos and finding information on the internet, I found out that it made sense to me and I decided to follow it. 

Here is the main idea:

Babies can poop and pee into the potty from birth. Just like animals do not pee and poop into their nest, human babies actually prefer not to wear diapers.

When my first daughter was born, I decided to give the DFB a try. When I saw her moving fast with her legs, I held her above the toilets and in ten seconds, she was peeing. “Excellent, it works!” And as I am a lazy parent, I put her above the toilet “only” before changing diapers, especially after her sleep, the method worked every time. But if it does not work at the first time, please keep trying as babies will understand the logic very quickly. 

What were the results and benefits of this method?

  • You use less diapers because most of the poop is going into the toilet. It does not mean you will stop using diapers at all but you will save some diapers every day. 
  • The second benefit is to avoid irritation of the skin of your child as the child does not stay in excrement. Therefore, you do not need any (or less) cream for the irritation and your baby is happier as he/she does not feel any pain. 
  • The third positive impact of the DFM has on colic. Logically, its better to pee/poop in a vertical position than lying on a back with a diaper. So every time I saw my baby feeling uncomfortable, I said: “the pants down!”:)
  • But the best benefit of this method is that your baby is doing what he/she knows from the beginning that pee/poop outside of pants is a standard. Having diapers all day long teaches your baby other way round: pee and poop into the diaper is normal. And later on when the toddlers are 2 years, you teach them not to use diapers which is confusing.

I am not saying that my daughter never pooped into the diapers.. A few times it happened. But when it happened, she came to me and cried as she felt uncomfortable. She has never been walking with a pooped diaper like nothing has happened:) And that is the situation we want to reach. 

In conclusion, my daughter is without diapers since 1.5 year old without any potty training.

When she needs the toilet, she makes a specific sound and heads to the bathroom.  As this method works very well for both of my kids, I wanted to share it with you. It is saving your time, energy, money and especially, it has a very positive impact on your kids to feel more comfortably and happier. 

PS: My both kids were excellent sleepers since the birth (6-8 hours in a row at night). I have not read any article about a connection between sleeping habits and the DFM but logically, babies who do not have an irritation of skin, who feel comfortable, who have empty stomach so they can suck more milk, these babies are more likely to sleep longer.

More about the contributor:

Denisa Skrickova is a mother of two daughters born in Luxembourg.

Before her maternity leave she worked for corporates such as Honeywell, Amazon and White & Case, spending high amount of time traveling around the world. Now she fully occupies herself with fingerprint drawing, singing kids songs and dancing with her daughters.

Wrap your baby! About baby carrying

As a mother, you will carry your baby around nine months in your belly. After the birth, you might feel an emptiness, like something is missing. The belly is still there, kind of. But the baby is in your arms now. You might feel the need to have a smoother transition than that. It is normal! You wonder how. There comes the wrap or carrier!

And believe me, your baby needs this transition too. Did you hear about the benefits that carried babies experience? And you as parents too? It stimulates the cognitive development, promotes sleep, ensures proper development of joints, muscles and especially the tiny hips, facilitates digestion and it is perfect for premature babies! It is proven, that they gain weight faster when carried.

Baby carrying contributes the parent-child bond – even if the beginning was hard for both (difficult birth, post partum depression – there are many reasons and often things which don’t work out as we wished them to, but nothing is lost).

It reinforces the sense of parental competence and self-confidence.
How to carry your baby? Avoid neck, back or shoulder pain with an adapted wrap or carrier, get this freedom of movement and make a choice for your economics and our ecology. Baby carrying is definitely saving you money and it is better for the environment.
I became a baby carrying consultant because it’s my passion and a lifestyle. Before the birth of our daughter, I was convinced about the benefits of carrying. 
I always adored the images of men and women in warmer countries, wearing their little ones in beautiful wraps in a way that seems so obvious and easy. I wanted to do the same. But I didn’t see many people carrying their babies here.
I bought a wrap. 
I watched videos and tutorials.
I read and watched again. 
I watched them slower.
I was motivated…and ended up lost with my super long elastic wrap.
I didn’t give up with my wrap and found out that you can do this even professionally.
Why not, with the equipment that I got in the meantime, I could have opened even my own shop, I told myself.
I knew directly: this is the thing to do! I want to become somebody that helps parents through and out of this labyrinth. This is a call!

Our daughter participates from the beginning in all daily life activities as she is carried a lot. And we ARE active. She sees everything and everyone and she is seen. And she is such an easy and happy baby.

When I meet somebody in the street, she can make eye contact. If she wants. If she has enough of the world out there, she turns her head against me and sleeps or rests. Strangers often want to touch our babies, do you agree with me? And us, the parents, we hate it – you agree on that one too? Not so simple in a wrap. You protect your tiny treasure so much easier. Now baby is not so accessible to dirty outside fingers. The place in front of our hearts is a safe haven.

When I carry my daughter, I take a break from this daily madness. How long will she want to be carried? Thanks to good quality material and wrapping techniques, it is not a problem to wear up to 20kg. Carrying is not just for babies, it is for toddlers too.
No, my back doesn’t hurt. Yes, don’t worry, she can breathe in there. And no, the position is not unhealthy – it is the contrary in fact.

I wish we learned to trust ourselves again and listen to our intuition. I am here to help you with this too, not just how to put your baby in and then out and where to adjust the node. 
We need to become the competent parents, which our children need, especially nowadays. 

About me

I am Honorata, 31 years old. I live in France at the Luxembourgish border with my family. I am passionate about baby wearing and obtained my certificate via “Die Trageschule ®” in Germany“. During my free time I enjoy horse riding and long walks. I offer individual and group workshops around baby carrying in the whole area. It is also possible to rent baby carriers that I have in my assortment or to try them out during group walks that I organise regularly.

Mothering the mother, or the job of a Postpartum Doula

History of birth & postpartum

Mary Cassatt, Maternite 1890

Historically birth & postpartum were home-based. Up until the 19th century women gave birth in their home with the help of an elder experienced woman from there village at first and a midwife in more recent years.

The strenuous nature of birth along with the fact that breastfeeding was the only way to keep a baby alive mandated the great care new mothers received from the people close to them and from their village. Most people used to live in small communities and after birth the mother was supposed to stay in bed and learn to breastfeed her baby. The older women were there with valuable guidance and advice and the community was there to provide food and help with older kids and housework.

The modern era

Medical advances combined with the urbanization of societies meant that Postpartum care declined greatly in quality in the 20th century! Now we know that mum is safe, there are doctors that take care of her for 3 days at the hospital, midwives that teach her the basics and then off she goes…alone to the house with no one to help!

And then we are sad about low-breastfeeding rates and high rates of Postpartum depression in most developed countries! What we need to understand is that this should not surprise us. Breastfeeding is a learned skill and requires a lot of support from other women that have the knowledge to share in order to be successful! Dana Rafael, US Anthropologist and Breastfeeding advocate that studied birth & postpartum of around 200 traditional societies, said that:

breastfeeding was a physiological process that needed to have something in place in the culture or else the lactation function would not work. Breastfeeding needs support”

Also, birth and breastfeeding are energy draining activities and the new mother needs nutritious meals and help with all the tasks she previously undertook with ease. And foremost she needs psychological support, confirmation that she is doing ok, that things are going to get better, that she is a good mum! A new mum needs to be mothered also and in modern societies we have forgotten that…

In Luxembourg a recent survey conducted by Happy New Mama  showed that 65% say they were not prepared for life after birth & especially for the postpartum period, although 74% amongst them had received a Prenatal education course. When asked to describe this period the majority (66%) is on the negative side, with 27% responding “Very Hard” or “Not Good” and another 39% said “Average” which is amazing if we think that this is the period were we finally meet the person that was growing inside us for 9 months! When it comes to negative feelings, “Tired”, “Exhausted” and “Overwhelmed” were naturally on top but some other not so obvious were highlighted. 1/3 of respondents reported feeling “Isolated” or “Lonely” and 27% “Scared”. Finally, around 25% felt “Depressed” and experienced the “Baby Blues” with 11% reporting  “Postpartum Anxiety” and 6% “Postpartum Depression”. The majority of the population that took part on the survey relied on help from their partners mainly, 46% had an independent midwife visiting and 40% had one of their parents helping.
However, these numbers are only an indication) as Luxembourg does not publish data on Postpartum Mental Health!

Factors associated with a negative experience seem to be C-sections, especially emergency ones. And consequences involved lower rates of long -term breastfeeding (39% breastfed their baby over 6 months vs 80% for women with a ‘very good’ postpartum period).

Moving finally on what would help during that period, top answer were more sleep, a warm cooked meal or help with housework but “company, someone to talk to” was also chosen by 42%, which is in line with the loneliness of that period!

In Luxembourg the state provides some visits after birth from an independent midwife (sage-femme liberale). They visit at home, check baby’s weight, check the breastfeeding and if there are any medical or other issues with the new mom (e.g. excess bleeding, any infection, pain etc) and this is a valuable service for new mums. They visit in the first 15-21 days postpartum and reimbursed by CNS. However, the visit lasts 45 min and often there are not enough midwives in Luxembourg to cover the demand. Many midwives also offer other services in private and are an invaluable resource.

For sure the postpartum experience of women giving birth in Luxembourg is a topic that needs to be explored further and official authorities should start paying more attention to it as this period affects women’s well-being and is probably the most fragile period of their lives, mentally and physically.

Role of doulas

This is the point where, in many modern societies, a Postpartum Professional (or Doula) comes. The role of a postpartum doula is NON-medical and it’s focus is Mothering the mother, it is to give space to the new mum to recover from birth and to get to know her new baby. They offer practical help and emotional support to the new mum until she is confident and strong enough to take care of her new family. A Postpartum Doula will prepare nutritious meals, will give a massage to increase oxytocin, will take care of older kids, support and encourage mums with breastfeeding and give them time to have a nice bath or show some exercises to help recover from birth. But most of all she will be there to listen! Listen to her birth story, her worries and anxieties of being a new mama and to celebrate the most intense transition they will go through, the transition to Motherhood.   A postpartum doula is the village we have lost!

Because postpartum care should be given again the position and value it once had and because..

It is not enough to keep new mamas alive, we need new mamas to thrive!

More about the contributor

Christina Anyfanti is a Certified Postpartum Professional & part of the Newborn Mothers Collective as well as a Birthlight™ Motherhood & Baby Yoga Teacher.

She also has a Diploma in Counseling Psychology among others.

Let’s just be!

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Let’s just be!

My kid is starting school in September! I know, right. But I just had him! What happened? He is starting in precoce in the local school. They can start when they turn 3. In September he will be 3 and 8 months.

As a consequence he is saying goodbye to his friends in crèche. This breaks my heart. It took a long time for him to be happy in crèche and to make friends. Now he runs to the door and can’t wait to play with Peter, Eva, Youni and all the other besties! They have really formed a great group and he talks about them constantly!

The sad news is that all of them are going to start school in September and not in the same school. We have already said good-bye to Martyna. She will spend the summer in her home country and when she comes back she will start precoce.

Tears were flowing on her last day.

I was getting prepared to comfort my little sad boy and to explain why life is the way it is. But you know what? I didn’t have to. My kid didn’t seem too affected by this. To be honest, I haven’t dared asking him about it because I don’t want to remind him of it. So maybe he hasn’t realized it and the reaction may come later. But I still think it is amazing how kids just pick life up and keep going. He goes to crèche not the least bothered by the fact that Martyna is no longer there, but instead focuses on all the other kids that are there.

Kids are so present in the present! We, the adults, should really take note! We get so caught up in the past and the future that we forget the present. We forget to enjoy and play in the present. Kids don’t do that. Kids don’t think about the consequences or how much pain they may or may not be in in the future. They just keep playing because that is what is happening right now!

When we grow up, we forget how to live in the now, especially when we become parents! We worry all the time! Are we doing this right, should I have done this differently? How will it be in the future, etc. etc! We constantly worry, and the older we get the more we worry.

Let’s learn from our kids and be more in the present! Whether you are trying to get pregnant, are pregnant to your chin or just had your kid, this message is for all of you! We can’t change the past, and the future hasn’t happened yet. The only thing we can influence is the present. So let’s get back into the present and be! Life happens now!

If you have your newborn or toddler with your right now, then try to notice how (s)he is breathing! Notice their stomach moving up and down! This is how you should breathe too! Breathing this way will calm your mind, body and spirit and will bring you back into the now!

Our kids are amazing! They are much more in touch with nature than we are! Take note and learn! I can’t wait for what other lessons my kids have in store for me! But for now, I will breathe and be in the present!

More about the AuthorGet real logo cropped

Anne Louise is a mother of two small boys and works as a Holistic Health Coach in Luxembourg. She helps her clients lose weight, gain more energy, increase quality of sleep and finally feel awesome about IMG_8083themselves! Struggling with weight herself for most of her life, she can truly relate to her clients and offers a safe space to talk about issues around food, body image and self-love.

She keeps up to date with the newest Health Trends and blogs about her findings. She also runs a Weight Loss Support Group on Facebook! Don’t be shy to get in touch!

Oh Boy!

Oh-Boy cover pic

“A penis is a penis. They hardly ever go away.”

These are the exact words I heard from my doctor during our ultrasound, after I asked him if he was absolutely sure I was having a boy. I heard the words, but the news did not sink in for another few weeks. It was not because I wanted a girl or I was in any way disappointed. It was for one, very simple reason, I could not imagine having a boy!

You see, I am a bit of a perfectionist, so I plan, I research and I get prepared for everything I possibly can. Being informed made it very easy for me to prepare for a baby, but how do I even begin preparing to raise a little boy? Having a girl was something to which I could relate. I could see myself spending time with her over the same toys and games I enjoyed as a child, talking over problems and doubts I had as well. I grew up with one sister and I knew absolutely nothing about how boys felt and what they needed. My sweet baby, who I already loved to the moon and back, at the same time felt like a mysterious being from another planet. How would I know how to play with him, teach him or help him when he needed my advice? I played with cars sometimes when I was little myself, but this is as far as it went, so how would I cope? At this point I still had my partner at my side, so for the time being, I decided to lean on him in this department.

I felt overwhelmed and, to be honest, absolutely terrified.

I carried Julian to full-term and I fell in love with my baby boy all over again the moment I saw him, but it was not a smooth sailing with him. He was healthy and perfect but also very demanding. He was hungry all the time and wanted to be cuddled constantly. I was too exhausted and too focussed on looking after my new baby to think of anything else.

When Julian was four months old, I became a single mum under extremely strenuous circumstances and this is when it hit me again. Julian’s father was in his life, but he was no longer in mine, so when Julian was with me, I was on my own. I could barely cope with being alone with a baby who was not too fond of sleep and trying to get myself and my life back together at the same time, and now I needed to raise a little boy as well?! I felt overwhelmed and, to be honest, absolutely terrified.

When he was two, I did not feel I was bonding with Julian the way I should.

When Julian started growing up and he was just over one year old, it became very apparent to me that the stage when he favoured his father came much earlier than I ever expected. I was absolutely exhausted both physically and emotionally from looking after him and it seemed cruel that he was not thrilled to be with me and cried every time his dad dropped him back off. I was already dealing with a massive amount of rejection from my former partner and now it felt as if my baby boy did not want to be with me either. I tried my very best to fit into my idea of his needs and expectations. I played with cars, made loud noises and silly faces and when he started running, I was running with him.

When he was two, I did not feel I was bonding with Julian the way I should. I loved him the best I could, but I felt there was something missing between us. I felt like I was his caregiver and not his beloved parent. Of course a difficult situation between his father and me did not help, in fact it only added extra pressure. I could not put my finger on it, I thought I was doing everything that was expected of me, but it was not working and I was too tired and too frustrated to continue.

Once I let go of actively trying to be a worthy parent and giving my son what I thought he needed, an interesting thing happened.

One day, I thought that was it, I was happy to settle for being my baby’s babysitter, if this was how he saw me. Once I let go of actively trying to be a worthy parent and giving my son what I thought he needed, an interesting thing happened. Spending time with my boy became more and more enjoyable because I allowed myself to be me. In my eyes it was “just me”, but he did not see it this way. I loved sitting next to him when he played with his cars and it turned out that very often my presence was enough for him.

Slowly, I found my place in our relationship and I understood that I did not have to compete with his dad, or adjust to him playing, I had other things I could offer him. It took a while for us to click again, but eventually we found harmony in being us, a mum and a son. We still play with cars and trains, but in a slightly different way. I teach him how construct roads and tracks, how to put things together so they work, because as a designer this is what I am good at. We play with his animals pretending they walk their little ones to the “zoo crèche”, feed them and put them to sleep. We talk for hours, because he wants to hear about everything, not only cars and diggers. We talk about the world and emotions while he volunteers to help me clean, cook and fix things around the house. I gave him my old camera and now he grabs it every time I am using mine, so we can take photos together.

I am no longer trying to compete with anyone or consciously trying to make anyone happy.

We still do everything we did before, but I only do those things when and the way I enjoy them, too. I show my hot-headed, stubborn and strong-willed little boy how to be more patient, precise and take his time to cool off instead of getting upset and angry the moment things do not go his way. I am no longer trying to compete with anyone or consciously trying to make anyone happy, I am just enjoying time spent with my son and I absolutely love watching him grow and become a very smart and sweet little boy. The self-doubt and single-parent guilt are still there sometimes, but then I think of the wonderful moments we have together and all the things he now does himself, because I had patience to teach them to him and courage to let go and let him be more and more independent.

When I feel overwhelmed, I turn to my closest friends and family, who have been witnessing my transition from surviving to thriving, and I listen to them saying how amazing it is I spend so much time listening to my son and trying to see things from his point of view as well, so we can learn from each other and continue to co-exist dynamically, bonded with mutual love and respect, so he can grow up to be a confident adult and a loving and respectful partner. I learnt from my son that in parenting, just as in any other relationship, you need to be yourself first to be able to enjoy the other person. You need to learn from your mistakes instead of wasting your time regretting them and allow yourself to be proud of your achievements. If you stop for a moment and see yourself through your child’s eyes, you just might find most of the answers you were looking for.

Then Google the rest.


More about the Author:
DeeDee on the Luxmama Blog

DeeDee is the founder of POPUP Studio, a small, independent label where she illustrates and designs high-quality, ethical clothes, toys and accessories. As a single mum to a three-year-old boy, she knows plenty about time management and multitasking, the knowledge she shares with others on her new blog Make Life Dandy.